New job....

Sorry to be so "Debby Downer" lately. I really am happy in life, there is just a sense of going backwards that I keep running into. At twenty five I feel like I should have some sort of grip on what my future holds and here I am going back to school, leaving a good job to go to a worse one, and being in more debt for another three years. Yay. (sarcasm is my best friend these days.)

It has taken me a long time to figure out what I want to accomplish with my life, and I am scared that even now I am not one hundred percent sure. I have gone to school for public relation... nope, don't want to do that. Gone to school for hair... definitely not my calling. And now I am going to try my hand at nursing. Whaaaa? I think that this is the closest career I can pursue that at the end of my life, I'll feel whole. But am I scared that I won't succeed? You bet your pants I am. Am I scared my family will tease me about trying another career... OH YEA! But at the end of the day, I have to be happy with me and my choices, and if I don't do this I'll always wonder what if. And my goal in this short life we have is to limit those 'what ifs' to the smallest amount possible.

Yo-Yo working out.

Forget diets. I have. A while back I came to terms with myself that I would not try another diet. You see, I love food. I love butter, potatoes, cookies, salt... mmmm... (now I'm hungry. Great.) But, on the other side, I love vegetables and salads (almost but not as much). So I decided that I would eat what I really want to eat, knowing that I do actually enjoy green leafy foods and will eat them if I am not limited to them. However,this means that I decided to start... dum, dum, dum.... working out.

Like everyone else I know, I enjoy working out in theory and at the end of the week. I like on Saturday, eating a well deserved french toast and not feeling bad about it. I like coming home from the gym, taking a shower, and feeling skinny in my p.j.s. I just hate getting in my workout gear and heading to the gym. Now, if I could only start enjoying that part, I would look like a Victoria Secrets model. So I tried little tricks to make me feel good about getting into the car, like only listening to my favorite CD on the way to the gym. Or allowing myself one visit at Target each time I went to the gym. The most successful plan was when I would only allow myself to wear make-up the next day if I went to the gym.

Now I am one week back from our three week vaca. I am five pounds heavier. I swear I have dimples on the front of my legs that will prevent me from wearing anything remotely cute for the summer. And I have missed my workout class that started two hours ago.

But I'm really enjoying my third helping of mashed potatoes!